Once again, we apologize but we cannot bring you the news.
It appears that we have no internet here at news 4.
We'll be happy to bring you up on current events.
Just as soon as our internet is back.

You don't understand.I need the internet to jack off.
I got used to being able to see anything at the click of a button, you know?
Once you jack off to japanese girls puking in each other's mouth,you can't exactly go back to "playboy."

Anything you wanted to see with the click of a button!

Uh, japanese girls exchanging bodily fluids.Click.
Oh, this sucks! I can't jack off to this!

Uh, let's see.Interracial Gang Bang.Click.

She-males. Let's try she-males.Click.

Bestialty. Click on that.

Brazilian fart fetish porn?Click.Click.

Oh, uh, there was a ... a ghost!It ran through here and slimed me!
It wasn't me. It was the spooky ghost!
South Park -
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